College student demands roommate accommodate her schedule so the bathroom is always free when she comes home, roommate refuses, leading to a dispute: ‘You need a reality check’

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    AITA for refusing my roommate's 11PM shower curfew after she wouldn't move her hour-long makeup routine out of our only bathroom?
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    I (F) share a bathroom with my college roommate (F). This is our second year living together, and Iwe have become friends. Today I was planning to shower before going out when my
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    roommate went into the bathroom to get ready. She typically spends about an hour in there doing hair and makeup. I asked if she could do her makeup in her room instead since I
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    needed to shower. She refused, saying she had "already claimed the space" and her stuff was set up. After a brief argument where I pointed out she could do makeup anywhere while I can only shower
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    in the bathroom, I gave up and said I wouldn't shower, but said we should should discuss it for the future. She said if we were going to talk about that, we needed to talk about the times of day that I shower.
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    She said that I'm "home all day" and should shower earlier before she's likely to get home (I do take one less class, study at home, and work mornings, while she works evenings or studies at the library).
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    She says she often comes home when I happen to be showering when I could've done it hours before, and then she has to wait 30 minutes on me. Then she said she thinks I intentionally time my bathroom use to inconvenience her.
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    The reality is: ⚫ she doesn't have a consistent schedule, so I don't actually know when she's coming home. • I shower late because I like to finish my work, walk my
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    . dog one last time before bed, and shower after. something I want to point out, when she showers before me, I regularly wait over an hour without complaint (45 minutes in shower+20+ minutes for skincare/teeth)
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    She claims I time my bathroom use deliberately, citing ONE time when I texted asking when she'd be home (it was late and I was genuinely curious since we're friends), she replied that she was on the way, which I had read as I
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    was getting in the shower. In no way did I intend for that to happen, it just did, and I wasn't going to jump out bc she was almost home. She's also upset that maybe 6 times in two years, I've knocked to quickly use the
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    toilet during her hour-long bathroom sessions. This morning proved my point when I had sudden and VERY urgent di during her post-shower skincare routine. Instead of letting me in,
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    she took an extra 5 minutes and accused me of "holding it" until she's in the bathroom. She's completely unwilling to budge and insists I need to change the time of day when I
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    shower so that she's not having to wait. When I mentioned that my less than 30 minute showers are much shorter to wait on than her hour-long routines she snapped and said "we're not putting time limits on the shower."
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    How should I handle this? AITA for asking her to do her makeup elsewhere since I can only shower in the bathroom, and then disagreeing with her shower schedule?
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    Edit to add: ⚫ my average shower times are more like 15-20 minutes, and this is the time from when I walk in the bathroom, and walk back out, so including teeth brushing. 30 is a bit of an
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    overestimation on days that I'm doing an 'everything' shower. The point was more to compare her shower length of time to mine which is much shorter. • I live in an on campus upperclassmen dorm. Housing basically will not do
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    room switches unless your life is being threatened, so I think I'm out of luck there. She isn't living with us next year though, so I'll just have to try to see if we can resolve everything so we can get through the year. I'm not too optimistic though..
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    • some people are saying to get a makeup mirror for both of you to use. I have my own, which is large and has lights on it. I offered her to use it yesterday and she refused.
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    Remote-Physics6980 3d ago • A hole Aficionado [12] NTA - your roommate has things set up the way she likes it and is refusing to acknowledge that you can only shower in the shower. She could put on her make up in any other room in the house because mirrors are movable. Stand by your gus, she's
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    being ridiculous especially about timing things to annoy her. You pay your rent and you pay your bills: you have every right to use the facilities when you need to and that includes when she's doing her pretty pretty princess routine in the mirror. I would
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    never make a friend hold off on dia because I was putting on make up. I will even go so far to say I don't think she's very friendly to you. she seems kind of petty actually really petty considering she's denying use of the toilet. But you are definitely NTA.
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    Jenicillin 3d ago Certified Proctolog|st [22] NTA. Wow. You need to find a different place to live. She's not your friend. She could easily do her post-shower sh elsewhere, but refuses, and then tells you how selfish you are to take a shower
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    before she gets home. Also? WHO THE F takes a 45 minute shower? If she needs that long, shaving or whatever, she should do it AFTER you.
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    InValuabled ⚫ 3d ago A_h_le Enthusiast [7] NTA. Your roommate needs a reality check by living with another person hogging the bathroom the way she does. And you need to find another living arrangement with someone more conscientious.
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    If you're feeling petty, set up your replacement to be the most self- absorbed individual you know. I mean, other than the current roommate.
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    Poppets Mystery • 3d ago • For this type of situation, it's best to just have a general shower time period for each person. Say like, Your shower times are between this and this time.
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    Hers are between this and this. But make it known between two parties that extensions can be made if like- someone has a special outing, gets dirty, etc. It just has to be well communicated.
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    Secondary note- Communication matters. The way it is done also matters. I recommend making sure both parties are using tones that are less matter fact and more inspo/etc.
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    Urbanyeti0 3d ago • Paperintendant [55] NTA she seems like it's everything her way, if she can claim the bathroom for an hour to do makeup when a mirror and lights are presumably also in her room, then I'd be making sure I started the shower every night as she got home
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    EverydayNovelty • 3d ago • NTA. Ask her why she thinks she's so important that you would plan your life around inconveniencing her.

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